We all have that first memory of when we were a youngster. In remembering mine, I remember being four years old and hanging out with my dad at his friend’s house. We had just stopped at the store, on the way to his friend’s house, and he bought this gigantic balloon for me, so I’d have something to do while he visited with his friend. It wasn’t even into the first 15 minutes of his visit that my balloon got away and sailed into the heavens. All I remember doing was crying and chasing after it. Seeing this, my dad called me back, and we hopped in the car and chased after that balloon everywhere. It actually turned out to be a really fun time. Although we never caught the balloon, I’ll never forget the time I spent with my father chasing it.

Like I said, we all have certain aspects of life that we remember. We have those that we regret but sometimes those we regret turn out to be the ones we learn from the most and the ones that help us understand how important our Heavenly Father is to us. Growing up, I found myself just loving sports and going outside to do a lot of different things. Playing baseball was the passion I had. I remember those spring days and that freshly cut grass outside, and I would get excited just knowing that baseball season was about to begin, and we’d be out there throwing and catching the ball and trying to crank out those home runs in Little League.

At this time, I really didn’t understand anything about religious reasoning, or even have a clue about what or who Jesus was. In my mind, churches were just places for people to be bored, or maybe go to a wedding. I never thought of them as places to worship a living God. That lack of knowledge leads you to think that the ways of the world are going to be your source to fill your needs and wants. This hit me when I became a teenager and started experimenting with alcohol. I started drinking when I was about 16 years old at a pretty regular rate. I thought the only way you could have fun was by going out partying every weekend and drinking until you couldn’t remember what happened. But even with that, I was very involved in sports at my school and during the summer.

When I finally graduated high school in 1989, I found myself without much going on in life I decided to join the Army National Guard as avionics mechanic, (communication and navigation repairmen of helicopters) and I really did love it. On top of everything else I found myself in the best shape of my life, and it really made me feel good about who I was and what I was about. I was still a heavy drinker on the weekends, in my mind that just made me a better and more fun person to be around. By the time I was 25 years old, I had a degree in electronics technology, a great job, playing ball and was loving life. I really thought it would never get any better than this. When you’re living the ways of the world you find yourself completely caught up in self-centeredness and will do anything to be able to please yourself. I will admit, I was one of these people. My life at this time was about what I could get out of it, and really didn’t mind who got hurt while doing it.

There was a day in September of 1996 that changed my life forever. It’s a beautiful Saturday night and was a beautiful Saturday night and I was enjoying myself having drinks at a wedding that I stood up in. I was all dressed up in my tuxedo, I was feeling no pain and it felt like nothing could ever get better than this. I’d had a little too much to drink but still thought I could drive home without a problem. As you’ll come to find out, I was a little off on my thinking. It was about two o’clock in the morning when I came to the on ramp to my house. Having slow reflexes at the time I made my turn too late and ended up hitting the gravel and rolling my Jeep. During the roll the roof collapsed and I ended up having a compound fracture of my right leg and dislocating the C4 vertebra in my neck. This crushed my spinal cord and left me unable to move anything below my neck. After spending a week in intensive care I’ll never forget the day the doctor came into my room and notified me that I was never going to be able to move anything below my neck again. All I could think about for a while after this was baseball.

During my time in rehab I acted like nothing was bothering me, but it was easy to see it was because I was refusing visits from my friends who wanted to come see me. It was just easier to tell them that everything was okay and to stay home and not worry. This attitude went on for about four to five years. Around April of 2001 things really seemed to have gotten out of control in my life. First of all, my grandpa had just had a stroke and heart attack, my dog had just died, and the girl I was dating had left me for one of my friends, all within a month. At this time, I had no clue where to turn, so I decided to try something new in my life and opened up a Bible and turned it straight to Proverbs. Verse 16:25 reads There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. This verse helped me think so much. I really thought I was doing the right things in my life, but even five years after my accident I still hadn’t a clue.

I happened to find a flyer that was about a year old sitting in my drawer. It talked about a church here in Columbus called the Columbus Christian Fellowship. I’d never been to a church before so I thought I’d give it a shot. I ended up calling the pastor and setting up a meeting to come in that Sunday. Sunday came and I drove my wheelchair about 2 miles across town to check out this church. I was very pleasantly surprised that it was wheelchair accessible. The pastor and I talked for a little while, and then when the service came about I was intimidated but also moved and actually had a physical feeling of true comfort. Since I enjoyed the church so much the first time, I decided to keep going back. To this day I’m still part of that church. Now this is what the Heavenly Father can do for you. The pastor of the church at the time was Pastor Larry Campbell (if you’re not sure who Larry is, he is now a missionary for people with disabilities for Special Touch Ministry). One day, five months after I started attending church, I found myself sitting in the middle of the park crying (if you knew me, you would know that would be strange for me) and coming to grips with what I am. People may say or focus on my disability, but who I truly am is a child of God with an all loving, perfect God who loves me so much that he bled on a cross for me. Galatians 3:26 echoes this, for you are all children of God through faith in Jesus Christ. This verse is vital to me. Although I may have a physical shortcoming, if you read this verse there is one key word. That word is “all”, which tells us everybody NO MATTER THE SITUATION matter the situation can be a child of God.

I was able to overcome the looking upon myself with the world’s eyes and started to use the guidelines of the Bible for my life, finding myself no better or worse than even the greatest athletes in the world. Ever since finding Jesus my life has changed dramatically, both physically and spiritually. My God has blessed me and helps me see so much more clearly now. I’ve never been happier and have come to realize that although my disability can be hard sometimes, I’m so thankful for what my weakness has brought me. It’s been 12 years since my car accident and at this time I’ve recovered enough arm movement that I can drive. I am in the middle of getting my Masters degree and becoming licensed as a Christian counselor. I’m excited to start my new journey. So as you can see from the beginning of my story, which entailed chasing something that went into the heavens and realizing I would never catch it, I learned that when you have your Heavenly Father you will never lose Him.

Did you ever feel like God had put something on your heart, but didn’t have any idea how it could be accomplished? As a teenager, knowing that God had called me, I had a few objections, like Moses when God called him. I thought that my speech challenges in some way disqualified me from being used by the Lord, I thought that He would be better served if He just found someone else. I didn’t want to share what God had put on my heart, because as a youth I was too afraid of what others might think. The enemy tried to put all those thoughts in my head so that I would say “no” to everything God wanted to do through me. The account of God calling Samuel in 1 Samuel 3:20 is an excellent example of how we should respond to Him.

In verse 10 after receiving instruction from Eli, Samuel basically tells the Lord that here he is to listen to whatever the Lord wanted to say. Notice that when the Lord called to him the previous two times that Samuel merely heard God’s voice and responded with natural wisdom. Exodus tells us the story of how God called Moses and he responded in the natural by not wanting anything to do with this calling. Being used by God begins with listening to what He is saying.

My attitude about God’s calling started to change one year at Summer Get Away when a friend came to me and asked me if I sensed a call to ministry. She said that God showed her that He wanted to use me. If that wasn’t enough, my great-aunts called my parents and told them that God showed them that He would use me. This was very encouraging to me because there is no way they could have known unless God really did show them. My success in a Teen Bible Quiz league also encouraged me that my challenges could be overcome. The quiz coordinator was a Speech Pathologist that was familiar with my challenge. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit didn’t give up on me and taught me that it is not about my disability but it is all about Jesus and what He wants to do through me, regardless of my challenges.

Did you ever feel like you don’t make a difference? When I used a power wheelchair several years ago, my friends told me that I was naughty for running over their little toes. They told me that their toes were very, very important and didn’t want me to run them over anymore. Toes may be small, often hidden, and forgotten at times (until I run them over) but they are vital to one’s mobility.

Whether God calls us to a visible ministry or to a “camouflage” ministry like a toe, we need to be prepared to listen to Him however He directs us. Some of you may minister in the context of a church while others may minister in a group home. I am reminded of the Prophet Daniel who was a mighty man of God but ministered in the setting of political administration. My friend, Stacey, is a delivery nurse in a hospital and sees her job as her ministry. Sometimes things can be difficult for parents who are having a baby, and she has the opportunity to share a timely word that conveys the love of Jesus. Like little toes, Stacey’s ministry is not very visible in the church but is very needed by young parents. Stacey has been a blessing to so many and is always eager to cut up my food. However, I would be very terrified if I had to be her patient! I believe that God has a great plan for each of us and wants us to work together as one body.

Verses 18-19 indicate that Samuel obeyed the word of the Lord and eventually served as God’s spokesman. I believe that when he says, “Here I am” to God, he was also saying, “Here I am to obey you Lord.” A casual study of Samuel’s life would reveal that he often choose obedience over sacrifice. Samuel grew-up being faithful to the One who called him as a young boy.

On the other hand, the account of Moses’ calling in Exodus makes it clear that he had some doubts about God’s plan to lead His people to freedom. Moses’ concern about speaking wasn’t anything new to God, He already had Aaron prepared to help him with it. Moses became alarmed when he saw his limitation in light of the God-size challenge that was ahead of him. The issue wasn’t so much his speech as it was his understanding that God wanted to do great things through him. It is easy to get focused on the challenge, but God wants us to keep our focus on Him.

Like Moses, God had a plan to overcome the challenges presented by my speech concerns as I type out each word in PowerPoint slides. Listener can then read my sermons while I am speaking. People in my church have commented they can better understand my conversational speech as a result of hearing me speech. Typing out my sermons requires an extra effort on my part, but it is rewarding to hear the laughter, to see the tears, and know that people are being touched by God. While I would MUCH rather work behind the scenes, it is not about me but all about God. Whether I wash feet, develop computer programs, write articles, or speak; I want to do all of them for the glory of God.

I want to encourage you whether you are disabled or not to say “Here I Am” waiting on the Lord seeing what the Lord has for you. Regardless of disability, we are all equally important and have a ministry to do for the Lord. If God has laid a passion on your heart and aren’t sure how to get started, please email me at bmattrisch@specialtouch.org. Don’t let your challenge keep you from the destiny that God wants you to posses. Look for more about using your God-given gifts in upcoming eNewsletter issues.